Super Gross Food

The Tuna Chili-Cheese Burger.

My Pal Jess gets this everytime he works Sunday. It is probably one of the most repulsive things I've ever seen. And I've eaten turtle.

Revelations time. So I fucked up. Everybody does. And it's about the only thing on my mind. But I realized I can just sit in the corner and mope to myself and feel sorry for myself. Or I can let it go, and just realize that I made a mistake, and try to enjoy my life. This does not mean that I have to punish myself. That's what the court is for. My life isn't over, just changed slightly. Just because I got a DUI doesn't mean that I can't go to Cubs games or to Six Flags. It doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself. Just realizing this means I feel a ton better about myself. And a whole hell of a lot depressed.

I still need to talk to a lawyer. I can't understand the legalize of all the papers that the cops gave me. I'm reasonably sure that my license is getting suspended, at least for 3 months. That's not so bad. I don't believe it'll be revoked which is way worse. I guess I'll save on gas. Also I'm going to file for one of those permits that lets you drive to work and stuff. I'm going to try to claim hardship, saying that's the only vehicle my family has, I'm the only driver, etc.

And I'm going to do my best to return to school this semester. Christ, I need to get a new state I.D too. I'll get that tomorrow, when the DMV is open.

And I need to talk to my mom. I need to ask her to get some money out of an account for me. I think this means that I would have to tell her. And she's going to flip out and be overdramatic. But I hope she gets over it. After all, she has no room to talk. And she does sort of owe me an arrest. I did bail her out that one time. I know she's going to be upset. I hope she can get over it though.

“Someone” reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It’s not the Big Read though — they don’t publish books, and they’ve only featured these books so far. In any event . . .

Bold the books you've read
Italicize the books you've started, but didn't finish

1. The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
2. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
3. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
4. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
5. Life of Pi – Yann Martel
6. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
7. The Color Purple – Alice Walker
8. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
10. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
11. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
12. Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
13. His Dark Materials (trilogy) – Philip Pullman
14. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
15. Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
16. The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
18. Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
19. Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
20. Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
21. Chronicles of Narnia – C.S. Lewis
22. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
23. Winnie the Pooh – A.A. Milne
24. Animal Farm – George Orwell
25. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
26. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
27. On The Road – Jack Kerouac
28. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
29. Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White
30. Hamlet – William Shakespeare
31. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
32. Complete Works of Shakespeare
33. Ulysses – James Joyce
34. Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
35. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo
36. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
37. The Bible
38. The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
40. Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
41. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
42. The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
45. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
46. Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
47. The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
48. A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
49. The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
50. Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
51. Little Women – Louisa M. Alcott
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
53. Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
54. Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
55. Middlemarch – George Eliot
56. Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
57. Bleak House – Charles Dickens
58. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
59. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
60. Emma – Jane Austen
61. Persuasion – Jane Austen
62. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
63. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
64. The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
65. A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
66. The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
67. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery
68. Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
69. Atonement – Ian McEwan
70. Dune – Frank Herbert
71. Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
72. A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
73. The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
74. A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
75. Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
76. The Secret History – Donna Tartt
77. The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
78. Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
79. Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
80. Bridget Jones’ Diary – Helen Fielding
81. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
82. Moby Dick – Herman Melville
83. Dracula – Bram Stoker
84. Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
85. The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
86. Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
87. Germinal – Emile Zola
88. Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
89. Possession – A.S. Byatt
90. A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
91. Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
92. The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
93. Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
94. A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
95. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
96. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
97. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
98. Watership Down – Richard Adams
99. A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
100. The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

I've read 29/100. Yay for me. Some of thse were a little too pretentious for me. The closest I'll get to reading Pride and Prejudice is reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Zombies make everything better.

My sister graduated last night. She had over 400 kids in her class. I went to the same school. My class had about 250. It was the longest business I ever had to sit through. And possibly the most boring. My dad and step-mom came too. More guilt for me. After the service it took us an hour to get home which was kind of ridiculous because we live four blocks away.

I had made a tart and dipped some strawberries in chocolate. Family came over afterward. And we sat around and told stories. Joy. Then ironically, we (they) started talking about the funniest tickets they ever got. And I thought by saying. "oh, speaking of tickets, a funny thing happened to me the other night..." And the night wasn't complete without gay bashing by my step-mom.

I'm having feelings of impending dread surrounding this whole thing, and now my old friend depression is back. I can't help but think of anything else.

And it keeps getting better and better. It looks like the best I can hope for is a suspension which may last from 3 -12 months. A revocation would be worse. They would take my license for a good, long time.

My sister is graduating tonight. I'll wait til after this to tell my parents. I think I can ask my dad for some money, since he owes me anyway. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mom. When I do, she'll flip her shit.

Guess people really do get what they deserve.

Fuck My Life

Last night I fucked up big time. I'll admit it. What I did was the stupidest thing ever and I'll have to pay for it, for the rest of my life. I got a DUI. My life is fucked. I deserve it. I have taken way too many chances. My number was going to come up someday.

Jen and I were going to hangout. We wanted to get a tasty dinner and go to the drive in. Now here's where the mistake comes in: we wanted to drink. And we did. We got drunk. And then I tried to use my G1 maps feature to help us get back to her bf's house. I should have just taken my first choice and gone the long way. I used the my location feature to get directions to her bf Jason's house. It kept having me go in circles. I started to get really angry and wasn't watching my driving.

A cop pulled me over for bad lane passing. I had to do the sobriety tests. I failed and it was miserably cold. They breathalyzed me. I failed. They handcuffed me, and put me in the back of the police car. I watched them go through my car. They took me to the station and patted me down. I wasnt allowed to wear my shoes because they had "dangerous fashion safety pins." One of the cops asked me questions about things I liked to cook, and I elaborated on crabs and how delicious they were.

And I sat there handcuffed for 2 hours. They took my mug shoot. They took my fingerprints. I'm in the system. Luckilly, Jen posted bail for me. We went back to Jason's house where I did not sleep. In the morning Jason and I took Jen to work and then he took me home to get my safety shoes and other stuff. We went to Burger King and I got a Jr Whopper but I couldn't eat it. It was like eating flavorless mush. Jason and I walked around the mall then until it was time for me to go to work.

My Old Lady Friend gave me a ride to the towing place in Addison, where my car was. The cops trashed it. My stuff was scattered everywhere. The bag of ice that was left on the back floorboard melted and now its all soggy and will probably smell. The cops and tow truck people were nice, though.

My life is going to go Polar so fast, it's going to be ridiculous. The fees and things I'm going to go through are going to be horrible and I deserve them. My wrists still have marks from the handcuffs, 16 hours later. I still havent slept. I've eaten hardly anything all day, I have no appetite.

My life for the next 12-18 months:

AVERAGE COST OF A DUI CONVICTION IN ILLINOIS

Item	Costs	Final Cost
Insurance	High–risk insurance – an additional $1,500 a year. Required for 3 years	$4,500 +
Legal Fees	Uncontested plea and hardship driving permit	$2,000 +
Court Costs	Fine of up to $2,500. Court costs–$500. Reimbursements to law enforcement, towing and storage fees–$250. Trauma center fund–$100	$3,350 +
Income Loss	Loss of 4 weeks income due to jail or community service, evaluations and remedial education classes. (Loss based on average yearly income of $40,000.)	$4,000 +
Rehabilitation	Remedial substance abuse class at $50 and counseling fees of $200.	$250 +
Drivers License Reinstatement	$500 plus $10 for a new license; $500 for multiple DUI offenders. $50 formal hearing fee.	$560 +
	Total Average Cost=	$14,660

At Home Coloring Fun

Hair coloring fun that is. I've never colored my own hair before,and it's time to start. I usually just get blond highlights at the beginning of summer, and low lights in the fall. At $120 a visit to the salon, I cant afford to go for a few months because of a bullshit hospital bill.

Okay, I lied. One time I died my hair red. I cant remember if it was a mistake or not, there are no pictures of me with it that color. I tried to wipe that whole summer from my mind. A couple months ago, my friend Lindsay died her hair red. It looked horrible. I remember thinking to myself, "god, I hope my hair didn't look like that." What was funnier was why she had dyed it red. "My boyfriend wanted to fuck a redhead." Gross.

So I bought LOreal Hair Couleur Magic. I've been reading online about at home coloring and there are warnings of brassy! colors. Brassy color does not sound fun. It sounds ugly.

This kit has a 2 step process. Step 1: All over color. Step 2: Highlights. It has a freaky looking highlight applicator which looks like a pair of tweezers. And a mixing tray where you get to mix the color itself. Fun indeed.

Results: My highlights look sort of chunky, but I like the all over color that is beneath it. We'll see how long it will take to fade.