Thanks a lot, sobriety.

Sobriety more or less has led to me being more energized during the day. Which drives me nuts, because I have to be constantly busy. I'm thinking of taking walks during the days. My want to do productiveness is off the scales. And I cant unwind at night. I just stay up and think, even though I'm tired.

Catered the Sysco show last week, bagged tons of swag. My car was overfilled with produce, so much that Tobey could hardly fit in the back seat.

Taking some time off

Well I've decided more or less to take a month off from drinking. Just for the hell of it. With 2 days under my belt already, I already have about 28 to go. Also today, I'm fasting. To get the gross toxins out.

Hopefully I'll clear up my complexion a little bit, I've been getting tiny pimples all over my face. And acne type face washes aren't doing the trick. It's pretty freaky actually, it's like I'm going through puberty all over again.

Week 2

Day 3. Tues 9/1
Stayed over at the boyfriend's way too late. Got like 2 hours of sleep, so I was tired all day. Worst mistake ever.

Front of the House:
More waiting on each other. Had to watch a video about alcohol laws for the servsafe book. As if I don't know enough about that already. I had just completed my 10 hours of DUI Risk education Saturday. Basically I just want to jam an icepick in my ear during this class.

Garde Manger:
We finished our previous recipes, and cured bacon and corned beef. I had to partner up with this creepy guy Caesar. Thank god, it's only an 8 week class. I really hate pretty much all of the people in it. We also learned about assembling the sausage grinder. I guess we're making brats and breakfast sausage.

Last semester in this class, some student was grinding meat for sausage. They made the mistake of sticking their finger in it, while it was STILL ON! Part of their finger was lost in it. They were able to dig it out, but when they went to the hospital, they were unable to reattach it. I have no clue who this person is, but I'm interested to see if they're still enrolled in the program. I also kind of want to look at their finger.

School, Week 1

Day 1 Tues. Aug 25

Front of the house: worst class ever. Not only do I have to wait tables, I don't even get to keep my tips. And I have to have a $20 bank to make change for customers. I will not like this class at all.

Garde Manger: Sadly I skipped this class to drink half price margaritas at Pepes. Totally worth it. Jen and I got bombed and had chili con queso. And pork tacos. Good times.

Day 2 Thurs Aug 27

Front of the house: POS Training. Stupid customer service review. We practiced waiting on each other, and it was terrible.

Garde Manger: We made a ton of stuff. Cured gravlax, pastrami-style salmon, cajun tasso, pork loin, smoked duck breast, and duck confit. Good stuff. We didn't get to try anything, because it's a two step process, but it's something to look forward to tuesday.

Michael Jackson is still hanging around, in a tree stump.

Saw the Orphan and Funny People this weekend. Ate some delicious Italian food at Fantastico's. Francese Chicken and pasta with house salad, with cannoli for desert.

Met my mom for dinner at a Grill downtown and a really old guy hit on me, and told me that I looked like a gypsy and that I was addicted to text messaging. Idiot, I was texting to look busy so I didn't have to deal with you. The bartender, Kat cut him off at that point. As he staggered out the door, he told me and Mom that we didn't know what we were missing. Sad indeed.

The Orphan had possibly the best plot twist ever. Who was the Orphan? A 33 year old Russian Prostitute who escaped a mental asylum. And she was a midget. And I knew that before I saw it. In fact it made me want to see it more. Funny People was good, but not that funny.

Sunday I went swimming at the small waterpark in the next town over. It has a lazy river, which I just like to float around on. Got my tan on, didn't burn. Pretty good weekend.

Today was hard. We had about 250 messy ass bitches from the basketball camp for dinner, ran out of everything. I resisted the urge to scream at several of them, although it was building up. One girl took an entire bowl of olives from the salad bar. And I know she wasn't going to eat all of it. What can you do? They'll be here all week.

Good news.

I had my continued court date Wednesday. So according to a technicality, I'm getting my license back. I'm really excited and happy that it turned out this way. And my lawyer got the prosecutor to drop my open alcohol charge. So I have to pay a fine, and attend 10 hours of minimum DUI risk education and attend a night where I have to stare at people who were seriously injured in DUI accidents. I know I got off really lucky. Did I learn a lesson? Yes. Will I drink and drive again? No.

There was a girl that was tried just before me who had gotten 3 DUIs before she was 21. Wow. How do you not learn a lesson like that? She got 90 days in jail, and she has to wear a monitoring device for 3 years, that will say if she's drinking or not. I was sitting across from her in the County Clerks office, and she was just being a total bitch to her mother. It was like she didn't even care she was going to jail or had gotten caught.

In spirit of DUI related business, this Rydar guy was sentenced to 20 days of house arrest following a DUI charge and has to deal with an ankle monitor. http://twitter.com/rydar98

Truth or Dare?

Dare of course. Mike and I had nothing to do today before dinner. We were extremely bored. Everything was preped out. We were going to play hide and seek, but we weren't sure if the boss was going to come back. We had just gotten in trouble for a whipped cream fight, so we didn't want to do anything too messy.

So, truth or dare.

And we couldn't think of any truth questions, which weren't as good as dares.

Mike: I dare you to take a shot of soy sauce
Me: I dare you to eat a spoonful of cornstarch
Mike: Spoonful of chili powder
Me: Oyster sauce
Mike: Take a bite out of a lemon
Me: Eat a clove of raw garlic
Mike: Eat a clove
Me: Eat these annato seeds
Mike: Spray waffle spray into your mouth.

This last was the worst. It tasted like crap. It was extremely foamy, and I had to throw up. Worst experience ever. Game over.

Gregorio

There's this guy I work with, Gregorio. Well actually his name is Greg. All of the people at work call him Gregorio, though. His main interests are pot smoking, drinking, and working on cars to compete in demolition derby. He is nuts. He also has a problem with listening to people. "Don't you think you should start to cook the carrots sooner, since they're not blanched?" I asked him. "Oh yeah?" he said, staring dreamily off into space. Thanks for ignoring me, Greg. Have fun scrambling when your carrots are still raw and people are waiting.

And he works in the culinary industry. As a line cook. He's worked at our workplace for about 5 years. "Why don't you be a mechanic or something?" I asked him once. "Oh, it doesn't pay as well," he told me. Lies. I know several people that own body shops and they make really good money.

Greg's dreams include moving to California, becoming a rock star and making it big. He likes to declare this in the kitchen as his music blasts. Good luck! Greg doesn't have any musical talent I might add. He likes to smoke pot, though. He grew a couple plants last year and was mighty proud of them. His favorite band is Blind Melon. The lead singer Shannon something died quite a few years ago, and every year on the anniversary of his death, there's some kind of festival centered around his grave. Creepy. Let's go drop acid and roll on our hero's grave!

Greg is still single, but he's always looking for the perfect girl. She may or may not be a car.

Super Gross Food

The Tuna Chili-Cheese Burger.

My Pal Jess gets this everytime he works Sunday. It is probably one of the most repulsive things I've ever seen. And I've eaten turtle.

Revelations time. So I fucked up. Everybody does. And it's about the only thing on my mind. But I realized I can just sit in the corner and mope to myself and feel sorry for myself. Or I can let it go, and just realize that I made a mistake, and try to enjoy my life. This does not mean that I have to punish myself. That's what the court is for. My life isn't over, just changed slightly. Just because I got a DUI doesn't mean that I can't go to Cubs games or to Six Flags. It doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself. Just realizing this means I feel a ton better about myself. And a whole hell of a lot depressed.

I still need to talk to a lawyer. I can't understand the legalize of all the papers that the cops gave me. I'm reasonably sure that my license is getting suspended, at least for 3 months. That's not so bad. I don't believe it'll be revoked which is way worse. I guess I'll save on gas. Also I'm going to file for one of those permits that lets you drive to work and stuff. I'm going to try to claim hardship, saying that's the only vehicle my family has, I'm the only driver, etc.

And I'm going to do my best to return to school this semester. Christ, I need to get a new state I.D too. I'll get that tomorrow, when the DMV is open.

And I need to talk to my mom. I need to ask her to get some money out of an account for me. I think this means that I would have to tell her. And she's going to flip out and be overdramatic. But I hope she gets over it. After all, she has no room to talk. And she does sort of owe me an arrest. I did bail her out that one time. I know she's going to be upset. I hope she can get over it though.

“Someone” reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It’s not the Big Read though — they don’t publish books, and they’ve only featured these books so far. In any event . . .

Bold the books you've read
Italicize the books you've started, but didn't finish

1. The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
2. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
3. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
4. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
5. Life of Pi – Yann Martel
6. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
7. The Color Purple – Alice Walker
8. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
10. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
11. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
12. Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
13. His Dark Materials (trilogy) – Philip Pullman
14. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
15. Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
16. The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
18. Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
19. Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
20. Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
21. Chronicles of Narnia – C.S. Lewis
22. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
23. Winnie the Pooh – A.A. Milne
24. Animal Farm – George Orwell
25. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
26. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
27. On The Road – Jack Kerouac
28. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
29. Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White
30. Hamlet – William Shakespeare
31. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
32. Complete Works of Shakespeare
33. Ulysses – James Joyce
34. Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
35. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo
36. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
37. The Bible
38. The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
40. Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
41. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
42. The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
45. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
46. Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
47. The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
48. A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
49. The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
50. Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
51. Little Women – Louisa M. Alcott
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
53. Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
54. Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
55. Middlemarch – George Eliot
56. Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
57. Bleak House – Charles Dickens
58. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
59. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
60. Emma – Jane Austen
61. Persuasion – Jane Austen
62. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
63. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
64. The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
65. A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
66. The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
67. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery
68. Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
69. Atonement – Ian McEwan
70. Dune – Frank Herbert
71. Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
72. A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
73. The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
74. A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
75. Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
76. The Secret History – Donna Tartt
77. The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
78. Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
79. Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
80. Bridget Jones’ Diary – Helen Fielding
81. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
82. Moby Dick – Herman Melville
83. Dracula – Bram Stoker
84. Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
85. The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
86. Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
87. Germinal – Emile Zola
88. Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
89. Possession – A.S. Byatt
90. A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
91. Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
92. The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
93. Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
94. A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
95. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
96. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
97. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
98. Watership Down – Richard Adams
99. A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
100. The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

I've read 29/100. Yay for me. Some of thse were a little too pretentious for me. The closest I'll get to reading Pride and Prejudice is reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Zombies make everything better.

My sister graduated last night. She had over 400 kids in her class. I went to the same school. My class had about 250. It was the longest business I ever had to sit through. And possibly the most boring. My dad and step-mom came too. More guilt for me. After the service it took us an hour to get home which was kind of ridiculous because we live four blocks away.

I had made a tart and dipped some strawberries in chocolate. Family came over afterward. And we sat around and told stories. Joy. Then ironically, we (they) started talking about the funniest tickets they ever got. And I thought by saying. "oh, speaking of tickets, a funny thing happened to me the other night..." And the night wasn't complete without gay bashing by my step-mom.

I'm having feelings of impending dread surrounding this whole thing, and now my old friend depression is back. I can't help but think of anything else.

And it keeps getting better and better. It looks like the best I can hope for is a suspension which may last from 3 -12 months. A revocation would be worse. They would take my license for a good, long time.

My sister is graduating tonight. I'll wait til after this to tell my parents. I think I can ask my dad for some money, since he owes me anyway. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mom. When I do, she'll flip her shit.

Guess people really do get what they deserve.

Fuck My Life

Last night I fucked up big time. I'll admit it. What I did was the stupidest thing ever and I'll have to pay for it, for the rest of my life. I got a DUI. My life is fucked. I deserve it. I have taken way too many chances. My number was going to come up someday.

Jen and I were going to hangout. We wanted to get a tasty dinner and go to the drive in. Now here's where the mistake comes in: we wanted to drink. And we did. We got drunk. And then I tried to use my G1 maps feature to help us get back to her bf's house. I should have just taken my first choice and gone the long way. I used the my location feature to get directions to her bf Jason's house. It kept having me go in circles. I started to get really angry and wasn't watching my driving.

A cop pulled me over for bad lane passing. I had to do the sobriety tests. I failed and it was miserably cold. They breathalyzed me. I failed. They handcuffed me, and put me in the back of the police car. I watched them go through my car. They took me to the station and patted me down. I wasnt allowed to wear my shoes because they had "dangerous fashion safety pins." One of the cops asked me questions about things I liked to cook, and I elaborated on crabs and how delicious they were.

And I sat there handcuffed for 2 hours. They took my mug shoot. They took my fingerprints. I'm in the system. Luckilly, Jen posted bail for me. We went back to Jason's house where I did not sleep. In the morning Jason and I took Jen to work and then he took me home to get my safety shoes and other stuff. We went to Burger King and I got a Jr Whopper but I couldn't eat it. It was like eating flavorless mush. Jason and I walked around the mall then until it was time for me to go to work.

My Old Lady Friend gave me a ride to the towing place in Addison, where my car was. The cops trashed it. My stuff was scattered everywhere. The bag of ice that was left on the back floorboard melted and now its all soggy and will probably smell. The cops and tow truck people were nice, though.

My life is going to go Polar so fast, it's going to be ridiculous. The fees and things I'm going to go through are going to be horrible and I deserve them. My wrists still have marks from the handcuffs, 16 hours later. I still havent slept. I've eaten hardly anything all day, I have no appetite.

My life for the next 12-18 months:

AVERAGE COST OF A DUI CONVICTION IN ILLINOIS

Item	Costs	Final Cost
Insurance	High–risk insurance – an additional $1,500 a year. Required for 3 years	$4,500 +
Legal Fees	Uncontested plea and hardship driving permit	$2,000 +
Court Costs	Fine of up to $2,500. Court costs–$500. Reimbursements to law enforcement, towing and storage fees–$250. Trauma center fund–$100	$3,350 +
Income Loss	Loss of 4 weeks income due to jail or community service, evaluations and remedial education classes. (Loss based on average yearly income of $40,000.)	$4,000 +
Rehabilitation	Remedial substance abuse class at $50 and counseling fees of $200.	$250 +
Drivers License Reinstatement	$500 plus $10 for a new license; $500 for multiple DUI offenders. $50 formal hearing fee.	$560 +
	Total Average Cost=	$14,660

At Home Coloring Fun

Hair coloring fun that is. I've never colored my own hair before,and it's time to start. I usually just get blond highlights at the beginning of summer, and low lights in the fall. At $120 a visit to the salon, I cant afford to go for a few months because of a bullshit hospital bill.

Okay, I lied. One time I died my hair red. I cant remember if it was a mistake or not, there are no pictures of me with it that color. I tried to wipe that whole summer from my mind. A couple months ago, my friend Lindsay died her hair red. It looked horrible. I remember thinking to myself, "god, I hope my hair didn't look like that." What was funnier was why she had dyed it red. "My boyfriend wanted to fuck a redhead." Gross.

So I bought LOreal Hair Couleur Magic. I've been reading online about at home coloring and there are warnings of brassy! colors. Brassy color does not sound fun. It sounds ugly.

This kit has a 2 step process. Step 1: All over color. Step 2: Highlights. It has a freaky looking highlight applicator which looks like a pair of tweezers. And a mixing tray where you get to mix the color itself. Fun indeed.

Results: My highlights look sort of chunky, but I like the all over color that is beneath it. We'll see how long it will take to fade.

How are you gonna go, with your hands on your head or on the trigger of a gun

So I have a final tomorrow in my Control, but I can't concentrate on studying for it. The NRA test which our final is based on I think is relatively easier than a test through the other book we were studying.

And I lost my I.D. again, which is a huge pain in the ass. I have no idea where my passport is, and I still haven't found my wallet that I lost like three weeks ago which included my other I.D, and my debit card. And wherever my state I.D is, I have no clue. The last time I saw it was Friday, when I went to go meet my mom for dinner. I had a rum and coke then. I thought I had it in my khaki jacket, but it wasn't in there.

And in other news, I'm changing colors from pale invalid to at least some sort of a tan. Skin cancer be damned, I want to see how dark I can get. I'm going to get highlights again soon, and maybe get pink in my hair. This is a risky thing, so I may just try some comb-in business before I go permanent.

I got my season pass to Six Flags and can't wait to go again. Xander and I went last Thursday. The park was virtually deserted, we went on all the coasters, and some multiple times. The prices of food were horrendous, though. $10 for a hot dog, plain or with chili and cheese. How ridiculous is that? But it was a beautiful day and I did get a little sunburned. It was 70 degrees and super windy. Thus leading to extreme hair entanglement.

I especially want to go to the water park. I'm thinking about going Thursday, it's my day off. I may just go to the water park in North Aurora. I like to go to that particular park, they have a lazy river. I just enjoy floating around on it for long periods of time.

Day of Delicious Food

Today me and my Mom went shopping. And shopping. And shopping. My mom really likes to take a long time to try things on. We went to Walgreens and the Bank and then the High School to drop off some pictures of my sister for some graduation thing.

First we went to Old Navy and I bought a new bikini, cotton skirt and jacket. The one I really liked, they didn't have in my size, but I found another one that was blue and brown with sparkly things on it. I'm not in love with it, and I still may return it. I still have my brown seashell bikini from last year, if things don't work out.

Then we went to lunch at Wildwood. I got the petite Tenderloin trio which was delicious. Steak tenderloin sliced thick and grilled on parkerhouse rolls with dipping sauces and fries. Garlic aioli, horseradish and a tangy BBQ were the dipping sauces. Then for dessert I got profiteroles filled with ice cream and drizzled with chocolate sauce and fresh strawberries. Mom got a chocolate mousse cake. I also got a Acai Rainforest Mojito with orange, lemon and lime.

Then we went to the Galena Cellars wine place next door and tried a wine tasting. 6 wine tastings for $5. Their wines are all local, made in Galena, and were really good. I tried the Peach, Rhubarb, chocolate port, may wine Riesling, crackling apple, and a chardonnay. The Peach wine was my favorite. All their wines are reasonably priced, $10 average. Last year at Swedish Days, Jen and I went into the evil Little Traveler and tried a sweet Catawba wine by August Hill Winery, which is by Starved Rock. This August Hill place is connected to the Galena cellars. It is one of the best wines I have ever tasted in my life. I will definitely return to try more great wines from this place.

After taking a nap, Mom and I take my sister to get her prom dress. Never before have I spent 2 1/2 hours in that mall without going to a movie. Mom got a dress, and shoes and I got nipple petals. Then we went to Portillo's and I got a grilled tuna Caesar salad which was super good. All though I have to admit, Caesar is my favorite type of salad, so I am biased.

I Want Revenge

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Yesterday, I went to see the Cubs play the Marlins with Jay, Lynz and Jen. We had terrace seats in between 3rd base and outfield. Pretty good seats. We got to Wrigley Field around 6:30, so we had plenty of time to find our seats before the game started.

Milton Bradley and Theriot hit homers back to back. The game was good until they tied and went into extra innings. That's when the Cubs decided to change pitchers. Bad news for the Cubs. The pitcher let the Marlins score a grand slam. Tragedy. They lost 8-2.

Thank god today is payday. I was pretty broke for the last two weeks. I lost my debit card, so I was putting way too much stuff on my credit card. I resolve to cut it up, super soon.

I'm betting on the Kentucky Derby for the first time. I'm placing bets on I Want Revenge, Pioneer of the Nile and Nowhere to Hide. Just $20. So I'm pretty sure I wont be rich and living an infamous life style after this. It's fun to play a little money.

Fireball

Today I had to make Omelets to show at work. This is not a fun thing for me. I get nervous when people watch me do things. I was stressed about this for like a week. For some reason, I always think I do not remember how to make omelets. Then I think that I'll mess up. I get very anxious about this.

I'm a super shy person. My friends wouldn't say so, but I've know them forever.

So I made a few omelets before all the customers arrived, to practice. My first one, not so great. Then real customers showed up, and I got into the hang of things. No major mess ups. I was happy. Then the other guy who was working the station with me decided to leave, because he had better things to do. The next 45 minutes was constant.

Then my boss' boss Paul comes up, and this other guy Mike. Big whigs in my land. I started up Mike's omelet and was trying to change the butane flames that power the stove. The lever that allows you to easily do this was broken. I was able to get the empty can out. The full can I couldn't do. I asked one of the hired help, John to give me a hand. We heard a whooshing sound and then suddenly a huge fireball erupts up into the air. John leaps about 15 feet to the right, knocking over a garbage can. I yank the butane out and the flames stop immeadiately. There was a small fire on the table which Mike put out like a firefighter. Everyone calms down and I finish their omelets. Mike and Paul were actually pretty cool about it. I was super embaressed, though.

As soon as I leave the building my cell phone starts to go off. "What happened...etc." What a nightmare fielding all those calls was.

Later my boss Steve comes up to me. "So you want to tell me what happened?" Luckilly I work with a lot of people who have a good sense of humor. My new nickname is "Fireball."

2009 Internet Fools' Day

The Star Wars Tauntaun sleeping bag was awesome. So awesome in fact, that ThinkGeek.com is making an actual prototype.

Boy, thanks for hesitating

Joe the lion went to the bar. A couple of drinks on the house and he said "I'll tell you who you are if you nail me to my car."

"Joe the Lion" is one of my favorite songs on David Bowie's Heroes. Written in 1977 it was a tribute to performance artist Chris Burden. Chris Burden did most of his well-known art in the '70s. His most famous piece was "Transfixed." He nailed himself to a VW bug, crucifixion style. Then the car was rolled out of the garage for two minutes and rolled back in.

"Shoot" happened in 1971. His assitant shot him in the arm with a gun. He was taken to a psychiatrist after that. Some people thought it was a protest about the Vietnam war. Others thought it was a statement on the right to bear arms.

Another stunt was "Deadman" where he lay in a bodybag on a highway surrounded by road flares.

In 1978, he became a professor at the University of California and taught there until 2005, when one of his students tried to duplicate his famous "Shoot."

Ghost Ship: A self-navigating yacht equipped with a GPS and controlled with on-board computers. It sailed from one port in the UK to another for 5 days with no one on board.

I was reading an article in Bizarre and this is how I discovered Chris Burden. I was scanning the article and noticed David Bowie. As I am a huge Bowie fan, I recognized the song. I am fascinated with song meanings, it's really interesting to see what happened to produce a song, who it was based on, whom is mentioned in the song. Today's hit music is written to generate hits, with the shallowness of a puddle. I wish that this wasn't so, that people like Britney Spears actually wrote her own songs and had some depth behind them, but what can you do?

Wasabi Green Tea Frappuccinos

Once upon a time long ago, I worked at a Starbucks kiosk in a grocery store. Some of the time it was great, the other parts mostly sucked. We weren't allowed to accept tips, for example. I was working there around the time that the Green Tea Frappuccino came out. It was alright, there were definitely better beverages there. Iced Green Tea with Lemonade being one example.

This same store carried a wide selection of International products. One day I thought it would be funny to put wasabi paste in them and hand them out as samples to employees only. So I took a tube of wasabi paste and mixed it in. I tasted it, it was super spicy.

Everyone I gave it to was really surprised. This man to the right was one of my victims. I remember he got really angry about it. "Why would you do something like that to me?" he asked. He turned really red. He ended up getting a DUI and going to jail for a while.

Another guy I gave it to was Paul. He choked down a glass of water right away. Paul was a huge guy and worked out all the time, and it brought him to tears. Paul would later get drunk and dress up in women's clothes. Ahh, memories.

Another of our victims was Carole. She was an older lady and she didn't complain about the taste. A little while later, she complained about her chest hurting, and thought she had lifted something heavy. She was the only one I felt bad about giving the concoction too.

Stuff I keep in my purse

Bandaids
Somebody could get hurt

Keys
necessary access to house and car

switchblade
bought it one night when i was drunk and in chinatown, now i keep it as a souvenir and protection

Burts Bee Chapstick
best lip product ever

wallet
Cash, I.D., credit cards

aspirin
headache time

Digital Camera
For the Kodak moments

Masquerade

My friend Sarah knew this guy who lived in Wrigleyville who was throwing a party and asked me to attend. So I wasn't doing anything else, and I love a good time, so I agreed. Our friends Marley and Mary came too. It was a masquerade party. $5 for all you can drink? No problem. (Sarah and Mary pictured.)

The night started off kind of rocky, Marley and Mary got into a fight about Mary's drinking, Marley thinking that Mary doesn't know how to handle her drinking. Mary doesn't seem like she's a drunk or anything, but then again, I'm not around her 24/7. Who knows what she could be doing. Then we were looking for parking for like 30 min, Mary and Marley fighting about cats and dogs about where to park. So finally we found a place a couple of blocks away from the party and we were straight.

We were pretty early to the party, so we chatted up the bartender Jason. A guy who when he isn't bar tending is a musician, working with mentally disabled people. He was pretty cool. It's always nice to meet a fellow violinist.

Then the DJ comes, who is late. Marley and Sarah head for the dance floor. Not me. I'm too shy to head to the dance floor without a couple drinks. So I'm just sitting and chilling with the bartender and Mary. We chat up two guys from Glen Ellen, Alex and Pat. Alex is not a very good drinker, unfortunately, so Pat has to watch out for them. Pat and I start to chat, and I have my first romantical connection of the night. Pat and I have a conversation about what a good wife and mother I'd be.

So Mary and I out on the deck, the haven of the smokers and a girl bums a puff off my cig. Her name is Jenny, and she's super drunk. Her boyfriend and brother are with her, neither of whose name I can remember. When I tell her my name, she got super excited, she's a huge Doctor Who fan. We have a long discussion about Doctor Who and our favorite Doctors. Tom Baker.

So then it's about time for us to leave, so I head for the bathroom. Jenny's brother joins me in line, and we have a romantical connection. We both love seafood. And we both love crab. I should have got his number. Now I know that love of seafood and crab isn't the ideal basis for a dating relationship, but it's nice to find someone who shares my passion for it. And he was cute. I didn't realize I had gotten a picture of him, but I'm a crazy good photo sniper.

As nights go, it certainly wasn't one of the craziest I ever had, but it was a pretty good time. And that's all I can ask for.

Break up/ broke up wth your ex? Try these.

The Littlest Things by Lily Allen

Just reminds me of all the feelings that I had for my ex.

I'm not in Love by 10 cc

Like my anthem for my single times.

Train in Vain by The Clash

"Would you stand by me?
No not at all."

Summer Nights, Summer Time Blues

I'm so glad it's spring again. The time change and the new warmer winds are great. I missed the sun and the warmth and lazy summer days. I missed sitting at Pepe's outdoor patio drinking pitchers of margaritas and spicy chile con queso. I miss going to Lake Geneva and laying out in the sun. I miss Six Flags and the fun of riding rides. I miss being tan. There are so many more fun and wonderful things to do in Summer time than in Winter.

But not everything about the warmer turning weather is great. Having a job that's dependent on a school year both sucks and is great for different reasons. It's great because I get periods of time off, and I like to be lazy and do nothing sometimes. I like the people I work with. This is also a bad thing. Time off = no money. No money = bad. Bad times = no fun. So I've started to think about looking for another job, so I can pick up a few more hours. And there are fewer hours in the summer because business is bad. And right now, I'm trying to finish school so I can get a better job that pays more money. It just seems like I can never get ahead, financially.

Maybe I'll start to donate plasma again. But that would only be a temporary fix to a more permanent solution. And that would mean eating healthy and giving up alcohol for periods of time. And driving to De Kalb, so would the gas money be worth it? I'm going to Iowa to visit my dad next week for a few days or else I would be seriously job searching. I have a lot to think about in the next week.

Bioshock

So last year I bought an Xbox 360 off of Ebay on a whim. It was like 300 bucks for 4 controllers, the console and I think about 9 games. Pretty good deal. Ive played it on and off. Only really bought a couple of games for it. Then for the last few weeks I've been feeling restless and asked my friend Xander for some suggestions. And he gave me Bioshock and Mass Effect.
So I happened to be in Best Buy, killing time, so I picked up both for fifty bucks. (I'm pretty cheap when it comes to this stuff, I can't reconcile spending $60 on a new game when that could fill my gas tank twice.)
So I went home and popped in Mass Effect. I liked the fact that you could customize characters and that the decisions you made in game play changed the plot. But the game was really stiff and the plot was boring. I gave it up. Waste of money.
Then I was sitting around and bored of Jon and Kate plus 8. So I turned in Bioshock. Wow. The intro was awesome, controls were great. And the story was so much better. Such a great game. Very cinematically beautiful. If you haven't played it, I suggest you do.

Jon Plus 8, Minus Kate

So I've been watching J&K+8 for the last couple of years, on and off. At first it was awesome, the kids were super cute. And what was terrifying is the footage they show of Kate's preggers belly. So freaky, like an alien trapped inside. The show was fun. But now it seems so fake and artificial. Every episode, they're going on a free vacation or going shopping. Disney, Colorado, Hawaii.

I guess when you have 8 kids, the bills must really ad up. But who pays for it all? Jon used to have a job, whatever happened to it? Kate used to be a nurse. Now TLC and ads pay for everything for them. I read that they give speeches at churches and pass collection plates around for their family. Not cool.

Maybe that's why Octomom decided to have so many kids. So she could sucker some television bucks. How can one mother raise so many kids on her own, anyway? How are those kids going to be loved and get enough attention to give them goodstation into paying big self esteem.

How long can the Gosselins carry on raising their kids on camera? At some point, puberty will happen, and the kids aren't to want to be in the spotlight forever. And Jon was supposedly said to be cheating on Kate. I believe it. The way she treats him is terrible. The stresses of having a camera around 24/7 must be unbearable. Tensions have to happen.

Lisa Turtle, you rock!

I loved Saved By The Bell when I was a kid. Loved it. And when they brought it back at some point recently to TBS, so I could watch it before I went to work, I was delighted.
My favorite character was Lisa. She had the best attitude. So what if she was a shopaholic, there's nothing wrong with that. Oh, and her glorious 90's clothes. And she was a lot more grounded than any of the other characters.
Jessie, was strong to vie for woman's rights, but soon dropped that as soon as her boyfriend Slater showed up. But the episode where she was hooked on drugs was pretty cool. She was just mostly annoying and a nag.
Kelly just seemed to exist on two notes, the first being that she was Zack's girlfriend and the second being that she was a cheerleader and kind of dumb.